You know it's really difficult to begin my blog without saying "well". Well here goes!
Anyway (another word I use too much) the company meeting was rescheduled (again) for this morning. It's come and gone and for what it's worth, I no longer fear I am going to lose my job. Could be that river in Egypt but I really don't think so. We all got a couple new toys out of the deal as well. One of the company's new partners gave us a bunch of freebies. A tiny 128MB mp3 player and a 32MB keychain USB instant drive. I don't need the mp3 player but Jeff may want it for running. Although the idea of him running around with headphones on makes me nervous. The roads in our neighborhood are not exactly safe for walking or running in broad daylight nevermind in the dark with headphones on. Sorry hon, no mp3 player for you! It's a cute little thing though ~ not much bigger than a tube of lipstick.

So feeling better about the job situation and yoga class was good too. All things considered much better than yesterday but for one small detail.
Before I went to bed last night I was admiring my lovely Kentia Palm*. A gorgeous giant of a palm that I picked up at Home Depot about a month ago (see #98 of 100 Things About the Author). In looking over it's fronds I noticed a bit of yellowing at the tips on one of the branches [insert inward groan here]. A quick look seemed to indicate natural dying off perhaps due to the plant adjusting to it's new environment. Oh no my friend! Upon closer inspection of the upper branches and their undersides I spied webbing [insert outward groan here] and one of the two most dreaded of all houseplant pests.....the spider mite. Well, not one spider mite...many-many spider mites. Fuck beans! Fuck pork & beans! Fuck three bean salad with a side of cornbread!!

Now I wouldn't classify this group of spider mites as a full blown infestation ~ more like a small reconnaissance mission that needed to be destroyed....immediately! I think a little history is in order (I have a feeling this is going to be my longest blog post to date). This gorgeous palm I have is not my first. It is my third. Granted it's the third attempt over many years to keep one but it's still number three. Three strikes and you're out and all that.

Palm Number One was doomed from the start. I think it was 1987 and I was of course, still living at home seeing as how I was only sixteen. I used to go to the New England Flower Show every year with my Mom and Dad and invariably we'd come home with all manner of plant life accompanied by such lofty expectations like keeping them alive. Not an unreasonable hope under normal circumstances but quite out of the question in a cave-like house that got little to no direct sunlight indoors. This poor, beautiful palm was placed with great care and even more ignorance in the parlor. Boy it looked swell sitting in there nowhere near the one window. It died in record time despite my installation of a "plant light" on the floor beside it. Duh.

Palm Number Two was some years later ~ 1994. I was living with my then boyfriend in an apartment full of houseplants. This was no dark cave - it had a big ol' slider to the balcony and tons of sunlight. At the local supermarket one night I fell victim to the tropical beauty of the palm once again. Flush with the success of all the healthy plants at home I bought it with confidence....and again with ignorance. Unbeknownst to me, the thing was host to about a zillion spider mites ~ and I carried them all home on the plant. As soon the the mother ship landed on the living room floor they dispersed like a well oiled military unit bent on pillaging the life and vitality of my indoor garden and before I knew it, half the greenery in my apartment was infested. Tried as I might with soapy water and insecticide the palm and a few of it's housemates died a horrible, sticky, yellow death. I was just too late and had seriously underestimated the tenacity of the enemy.

This brings us to Palm Number Three. Before I blissfully brought it home from Home Depot I DID inspect it. Very - very carefully I might add. No webs, no yellowing, no stickiness ~ nothing. It looked clean and I was determined to try again. So, the question is HOW?!?!! Or maybe WHERE??? And let's throw in WHY?? for good measure. The internet has provided me with answers my books on houseplant care did not. Those little fuckers are attracted to palms in general & the environment most people keep them in (sunny, dry and warm) and they can also get into your house via air blown heating and cooling systems. We just so happen to have forced hot air heat. But I think there were a few critters on the plant when I brought it home. My research today indicated a month is all it takes for a few adults to get a little colony going. Research also indicated a good soap bath and rinse followed up with a spray of insecticide once a week for three weeks should do it. That and misting the plant regularly (spider mites hate moisture) should keep Palm Number Three around for a good long while. One week's treatment down, three to go. Hey, what's up with the threes??


*For anybody who's wondering what the deal is with the pot next to the palm with plant stubs in it....I have a dieffenbachia that grew way too tall and leggy. It had to be cut and the top part brought down to soil level. Those stubs will sprout new plants. One is already beginning to do so!