Is it over yet? No? How about I stay under the covers and you tell me when it's safe to come out? This has been one long holiday season and there's still New Years Eve to contend with. Typically, I leave my Christmas tree up until January 1st but I think I'm going to begin taking it down tonight. Maybe. If I have the energy.
We've been invited to a New Years Eve party but as it turns out, my cousin has decided to stay in town another week. That may change our plans, it may not. I think Jeff may be a tad leery of anything my cousin puts together after we ended up having dinner with my ex-boyfriend among others on Saturday night.
While we were dating, my ex and my cousin were in a band together so it stands to reason they have remained friends. Hell, I'm still friends with half the folks I met through him (Bry, Becky, Kerri, etc). Not to say I enjoy spending time with him, I don't. When I see him I think of that time in my life and remember how absolutely miserable I was and how I let fours years of emotional void pass by. I am a firm believer in the everything happens for a reason doctrine. I have no regrets for the most part. It's a wasted emotion. I look at my ex and he does not appear to have changed a bit. He still dresses like he shops at a thrift store. Coincidentally, just as Jeff has done, he's cut his long hair. But unlike Jeff, it doesn't appear he put much thought into it. Looks like a home job done with a dog clipper actually. Not my problem anymore. Although it does make me think of how much I have changed. I know I am a different person, I don't have to wonder about it. This brings me back to my new years resolutions, to number six in particular. I think I have figured it out. I need to challenge myself, to stop doing things half assed. I need to excel at something...anything. Jeff has his triathlon, I used to have my artwork but I seem to have let that fall by the wayside. Perhaps the job situation is for the best. A nudge in the direction of real change. The Winter Solstice has come and gone. Even if only by minutes, the days are getting longer again. Spring and all her hope is on the distant horizon. I don't think I'll wait. I'm done with standing still.