When it's all said and done Bear is going to be the only cat left in my house.

Bubby's health has taken a bit of a downturn the past couple days. She had her chemo appointment yesterday and I went in with the feeling I was going to get bad news. She's not been eating much and has been quite listless since Sunday. I only have to look at her to know she's not feeling well and to see it further fractures my already broken heart. Prior to administering any chemo drugs the vet does a CBC (complete blood count) to get an overall view of how she's doing. Yesterday's screening turned up abnormal lymphocytes in her blood. A sign her last chemo treatment did nothing to stave off the disease. The vet suggested we change gears with the COP protocol she's on so they gave her cytoxan instead of methotrexate. If the cytoxan doesn't kick the cancer back into remission we'll have to try more aggressive rescue methods. I don't have to tell you how this is making Jeff and I feel suffice it is to say I wept my home from the vet last night. The biggest problem I'm having at the moment is with Feya. She has never been happy to share the house with Bubby and her animosity towards her has only increased now that she's sick. Every time she comes back from the vet Feya's hissing and stalking and general unpleasantness start all over again. It's driving me up a fucking wall. I've never liked how mean she was to Bubby and Bear but the two of them have been able to hold their own. Bear more so since she has five pounds on Feya. But now Bubby is sick and at 6.12 pounds (down from last week) she's got nothing to stand up to Feya with. That leaves me to defend her. The past week I've come perilously close to putting my foot in Feya's ass when I see her try to smack, stare down or otherwise intimidate Bubby. I barely sleep at night. Instead I lay awake listening for the inevitable hiss when Feya comes across Bubby on the bedroom floor or the scuffle when she harasses her off the bed. I've chased her, screamed at her, locked her in a room....everything short of actually popping her one for her bad behavior. And she knows I'm going to get mad because she takes off as soon as she sees or hears me but only when she's being a bitch to Bubby. Every other moment of the day she's all love and fun. I've tried to overcompensate with Feya for all the attention Bubby is getting but it's hard when all I want to do knock her lights out for smacking Bubby. The more uncertain Bubby's health gets the meaner Feya gets and as a result the closer I get to feline murder. And then I wonder to myself how Bear will like being an only cat.