Ok, two things. First, how did it get to be September already? That whole time flies when you're having fun shit got to go. I'd really rather it slow down. And second, I love my horse! Right, now that I got that out of my system, some quick news before I plow into barn talk. TJX re-hired me as an associate on 08/20. Granted it's a pay cut from being a contractor but it's a significant pay raise from my former associate salary and one I didn't expect they'd give so good for me. I've actually begun to decorate my cube with shit from home so I guess I plan on staying.

So a couple weekends ago I took my niece Zoe out for her birthday. She turned 11 in July so yeah it was a bit belated. I've always sort of admired her from afar since I'm terrified of kids. I've never babysat any of my nieces and nephews. I'm just not comfortable around children, at least not until they can talk, eat and go to the toilet on their own. Anyway I feel a special bit of kinship with Zoe not only because she's Jimmy's daughter but because she looks like me the poor girl. But then, she looks like me because she looks like Jimmy. And this reminds me of a somewhat funny (but tragic at the time) exchange I had at work about a month and a half ago. Way back in early March before my entire world changed my cube at work was a blank slate. No pictures, no plants, figurines, etc. Ok, I had one lone calendar but that was it. Anyway, after my brother died I pinned up a photo from my wedding. It's a picture of my three brothers with Jimmy in a tux because he walked me down the aisle. A co-worker was chatting with me about this, that or the other thing when she noticed I (finally) had a picture on my cube wall.


"Who are they?" she asks.

"My brothers."

She leans in to take a closer look then points at Jimmy.

"Wow! He looks just like you!"

"Yep."

"I mean, you don't look anything like the other two."

"Nope."

"Wow, are you guys twins?"

"Uh...no..."

"Because you look *so* much alike! He's not younger right, he's older than you?"

"Uh...."

"How old is he?"

"Um, he's 38. He's my brother who died in March."

(pause)

"Oh! Uh. Gee. Um..."

"Don't worry about it."


On the one hand a I felt bad for her, on the other....she was working with me when Jimmy died. So she knew I lost someone, I guess she just forgot. But getting back to Zoe. I worked myself up into a nervous wreck the night before I was taking her out. What if she didn't like me? What if she thought I was boring? What do we talk about? She wants to be a vet so her mom suggested I take her to the barn to meet Coda and hang with the horses. She was very excited about it. We weren't in the car five minutes before all my silly fears were alleviated. We talked, and talked, and talked! She is a terrific person and we had a blast. Before we hit the barn we went to the bookstore where she only very reluctantly let me buy her any books she wanted. Then we went to lunch. When we got to the barn, the owners were having a bbq so there were lots of kids running around. Coda being like a big dog and loving attention had about five kids at his gate petting him. Needless to say, Zoe was psyched when we went up and took him out. She was the envy of most of the kids there and was super with the horses and absolutely adored the Big Man (aka Coda). We groomed him, tacked him up with lots of carrots in between then I helped her onto his back and led her around the riding ring. She did fantastic. And you will never guess what the first thing she said to her mom when I dropped her off.

Mom, I want a horse!

D'oh!

SOTD thanks to Bry!

Some new pictures from this weekend...


Peeking into an empty barn.


Oh my god I love him!


Hanging with his girlfriend Sky.