Why is it that the only time I feel compelled to do a year in review post is when I've had the most shit year ever? I keep asking myself that question and the only reason I can come up with is because if I take it month by month, or even week by week....the same year that on first glimpse seems the most horrible ever can on closer observation, turn out to be one of the best. For me 2007 was just such a year.
It was tumultuous to say the least with the main events being losing my brother and grandmother. Those events having occured so close at the beginning of the year, colored most of the remaining months. But not to the point where I could not find happiness in other things. It will always be the year I lost Jimmy. He was so much more than my pain in the ass, loudmouth brother. He and I were close since we were kids and typing this, realizing yet again he is gone is difficult to say the least. 07 will be the year my family splintered in the aftermath of those loses. The worst part being, none of it was over money or inheritance but over misunderstanding, stuborness and an unwillingness to see things through some one else's eyes.

January was both good and bad and summarily a hint of the year to come. The good being I'd gotten my shark tattoo retouched and was enjoying my newfound love of running. The bad being my aunt had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer the month prior. She made it through the surgery very well & faced six months of chemotherapy. Bil came home to stay and care for her.

February was all quiet on the home front with the exception of me campaigning HARD for a horse of my own. I pestered, argued and wrote up ridiculous cost analysis spreadsheets. At the end of the month Jeff gave me the green light to begin horse shopping. Needless to say, I was beside myself with excitement.

March was a nightmare in every sense of the word. Lost my grandmother on 03/17, turned 36 on 03/24 and lost my brother on 03/31.

Nervous breakdown? - Check.
Family a complete mess? - Yep.
Inabilaty to cope? - Absolutely.

April - not much memory of it which is probably a good thing. Due to talks of a potential new job for Jeff and relocation to London I put my horse search on hold.

By May I was getting better. Almost a year prior I had planned to run the Bay to Breakers 12K road race in San Francisco. I flew out for a long weekend and had an absolutely wonderful time. I visited Andy & Barb, kicked around the city and ran the entire 7.5 mile run without stopping once. That race was a real high point of my year. Lucky for me, there would be others.

June was a mixed bag for me. I was running myself ragged in what seemed an effort to keep myself so busy I was unable to think about my brother. That was when I was dubbed "Goodtime Charlie" by Lisa. Andy & Barb came to Boston for a week so in addition to throwing them a grand party at my house, I attended two Red Sox games and a Stevie Nicks concert. Did I mention this was all in the span of one weekend? I found myself crying at the drop of a hat and having panic attacks. I was having trouble sleeping and couldn't eat. I got real skinny though which if you're going to have a slow-burn nervous breakdown (which is what I came to call it) you might as well get something out of it.

At the end of June and the beginning of July I jaunted off to Aruba with Beth, Becky and Barbie. Among our four days in paradise we spent two straight days of doing absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing but sitting on the beach and cooling off in the ocean. It was someting I needed more than I could possibly know.

In the meantime our potential move to London evaporated so my horse search was back on. Little did I realize how short it would be!

July we had our annual BBQ which was fun as always despite the um....incident with the fireworks shooting off into the woods instead of the sky. No one was hurt and no fires started so it was all good.

Tuesday, July 31, I played hookey from work and drove out to Belchertown, MA to meet this cute, Paint gelding named Coda.

Three days later he backed off the trailer at my new barn in Sudbury for my two week trial to see if he was "the one." As fate would have it, August 15, Jimmy's 39th birthday, I told the seller I wanted to keep him and on the 17th we passed papers. I was officially a horse owner.

August was incredible. Coda and I were getting to know each other and I was loving every minute of it. I still cannot believe he is mine.
At the beginning of the month, Becky and I saw Chris Isaak which is an annual tradition of ours and much to our extreme delight, he signed autographs after the show. I shook his hand, he signed my t-shirt and called me wild child. I think the two of us squealed like little girls all the way home.

My aunt, having gone through months of chemo with flying colors was declared clean of cancer. Spectacular, spectacular news. But now Bil was to go home to LA. He was back on the west coast by the end of August.

September was more riding for me as well as my first taste of jumping with Coda. On the 29th I went on my first off site adventure with him in the form of a hunter pace. I was a nervous wreck, he took it all in stride. In the end we both had a blast.

October I threw Jeff a party for his 40th. Lots of food, beer and fun was had by all....even the man himself. I also went on my second hunter pace which brought me my very first competition ribbon. I also ran the Firefighter 10k on the 21st for the second year in a row. Next to Bay to Breakers, that is my favorite race.

November I bought a series of four jump standards, a couple gates, coops and wood rails. The next thing I knew Jenn had me jumping them in a gymnastic and then a short course. At this point, I was pretty sure I'd lost my mind.

December was the usual craziness with holiday shopping, parties, eating, drinking, etc. Oh my, what number is that on the scale? Shit! Christmas itself was difficult as my mom's house never seemed so empty.


2008?

Back in March, just a couple days after Jimmy died, Jeff and I were talking about anything and everything as we usually do. He had just registered for Iron Make Lake Placid which he is doing this coming July. We spoke of the race and how I'd really come to enjoy running over the course of the year. I've said this in a post before but one of the reasons I love to run is because I can.

I run because I can.

We joked about maybe doing a marathon together someday. Maybe even Boston, who knows. I wasn't sure how serious I was about 26.2 miles. But then I think about my brother and how precious and short this life is. If I want to do something, now is the time. So I've started running again. And I've signed up for this. I't not a full marathon, but I have to start somewhere eh?

Here's to 2008.