Top Ten Things I Learned on My Birthday.

10. Cannoli counts as breakfast.
9. Presents are more fun opened in front of an audience (cats don't count).
8. MicroSoft Word still sucks.
7. "Cuz I don't feel like it." is a valid reason to skip the Y.
6. "Cuz I feel like it." or "Cuz I dont' feel like it." trump all reasoning on your birthday.
5. The smell of chocolate scorched to kingdom come in the microwave tends to linger.
4. Cake & champagne may be the perfect food-beverage combination.
3. Pizza & beer are a close second.
2. Graphic tablets are fucking cool.
1. 34 feels a lot like 33.